Archive for November, 2006

i’m proud of myself

Posted on November 28, 2006. Filed under: Uncategorized |

I wore, for the first time ever, 3 or 3 1/2 inch heels that weren’t huge and clunky, but nice and slender for the WHOLE day. As in from 7:30 this morning until 8:00 tonight without falling and with only minimal hurting of the feet. A personal triumph!

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Posted on November 28, 2006. Filed under: Uncategorized |

I had a really good day today. I mean really good. Like I actually felt like myself and everything.

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urinetown, the musical

Posted on November 26, 2006. Filed under: randomness, The boy(s), Theatre |

Brian and I went to see Urinetown tonight and it was FANTASTIC!!!

It was so hilarious that I’m still laughing and smiling and I loved the randomness of it all! I always enjoy witty lines and extremely off the wall, randomness in musicals and this one is right up there. It was so fun, but had a real political and social message at its core — with a rebellion and everything.

The cast was stellar, especially the lead narrators!

It’s being put on right now by Georgetown Globe Productions, who always put on high-quality shows. I worked with them as a co-producer on City of Angels, another of my favourites a couple of years ago.

If there are any tickets left, I highly recommend going to see it!

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and so it is (the saga of the dyingness and candida plays on)

Posted on November 24, 2006. Filed under: Candida, Environment, Family, The Dyingness |

I met with the naturopath yesterday and, though traffic and frustration had reduced me to tears earlier in the evening, I was looking forward to going for a real appointment again (not just for a B12 shot). I’m feeling a lot better at least 70% of the time and I was starting to think that the dyingness (you can also read about the beginning of the dyingness) was getting better. My tongue was almost perfect yesterday, just a circular patch in the centre, but everything else was gone (at least for the time being) which does make me happy that I didn’t pay even a little bit of attention to the tongue idiot(s).

I asked about reintroducing things at some point, which she said may happen but that I’m not quite there yet (with this I agree) and she mentioned that now that the diet and osteopathy seems to be working that there are a few next steps. Leading up to the thought that this is also an emotional problem and until we deal with that I won’t be totally better. I partially buy into this, though I can’t think of what I should be dealing with the help “make the leap” to health. She kept asking questions and, though she was happy with my progress, she kept hinting towards the issue of if I was angry to be stuck with this thing.

I didn’t think I was saying or showing anything in my emotions in my replies.

She then said that she could see the emotion coming up and landing on my face each time we started to discuss the diet and so we had a series of other questions at which point I broke into tears and haven’t quite recovered even 24 hours later.  The frustrating thing is also that I don’t think that there are any real answers to this…the questions went like this.

“Are you resentful that this has happened to you?”

“No. I mean, I was, but now it’s just there and it has to be dealt with. If I can’t eat certain things, I can’t eat certain things.”

“What would be the first thing you would eat if you could?”

Nothing came to mind. “Zoodles? Only because someone had them at work this week and I had completely forgotten about them. But, in reality there’s nothing I’m desperately wanting to reintroduce. It would just be nice to not have to plan everything ALL the time.”

Ah. Therein lies the true issue.

“Are you resentful that you have to plan this?”

“Yes.” I think more.”Yes. I’m frustrated at the overplanning of EVERYTHING! I have to plan lunch to take with me, plan dinners to take with me, plan where to eat out, plan to take food if I don’t know there will be any, Brian and I have to go get groceries way more than a normal couple dating would have to.”

“Are you angry?”


“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m not angry, just frustrated. The other frustrating part is that I know there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s just how it is and that’s actually fine. I’m the sort of person who will just do what you have to do and get on with it.”

So, as the floodgates are pouring out I also somehow get into the conversation, though I’m not sure how the fact that I love being super busy.  I realized after that I didn’t mention that I think I’m frustrated with this dyingness because if not for it I may be further on with my life (though I may not so that’s not fair). She thinks that the super busy part is the key.

I don’t.

Other people are super busy and don’t have this happen to them. I argue that super busy people don’t eat well perhaps and that may be why (I certainly didn’t). We then went along the traditional line of question about why you have to be super busy. One reason I know is that I get depressed if I’m bored. Not to say that I never have any downtime because I do, but I enjoy having a lot going on. Maybe it makes me feel useful, but it’s never been crazy excessive by any means, at least not by my standards.

I came home, still in tears and just really wanted to talk to my close friend and old housemate, who is WAY busier than I am! And that made me feel better. Now this whole question of emotional stuff I’ll have to deal with before I can get better is one I’ll have to work on accepting.

In the meantime, I have new liver pills to take. Apparently your liver is linked to your emotions and so it’s the next organ to logically flush toxins out of (apparently estrogen primarily) and to start feeling even better (though there may be an emotional roller coaster in the meantime — WHICH I’m already experiencing because of the whole visit. Don’t get me wrong, I trust and really like the naturopath a lot, it was just unsettling and unexpected.

She also mentioned that it is known that people with digestive problems have trouble digesting the world (this includes people with candida). Now I’ve always thought the world and I have gotten along pretty well, that we have some sort of good understanding of one another, but even simple food allergies are often triggered from trauma and emotional problems. So, I suppose that’s the next piece of the puzzle, which I did try to solve earlier, but I need convincing — anyone out there who can convince me that this emotional therapy leap or dealing with the triggers (if I can figure out what they are) is the way to go? and why? Have you been through something like this?

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shooting, downtown toronto tonight

Posted on November 22, 2006. Filed under: Politics, randomness |

I got home from class in time to turn on the news and see that there was a shooting in the exact place that I had just been and, that if we hadn’t been let out an hour early, I likely would have been close to where the shooting occurred. The last time this happened was when the girl was taken hostage at Union Station and I was actually in the station, but went out the side door and didn’t know it was taking place until I got to work.

So, I am left to wonder, what does one do when you actually do end up in the exact place at the exact time? How are you supposed to react? Hit the ground like in the movies?

A couple of years ago a friend and I were walking down Front St on our lunch and there was the loud sound of gunshots. We did not hit the ground. We looked at each other in disbelief because, well, that doesn’t happen in Toronto, especially in the middle of the day, right?

Again the shots.

Again, no reaction.

No movement.

I look up the street to see a bank surrounded by police cars.

As we kept walking closer (because, of course there must be a logical explanation for this) I ask:

“Do you think it’s a film shoot?”

“Must be.”

“But I don’t see any film trucks…”

My disbelief started to turn to slight anxiousness and a twinge of fear.

We continued to walk to the next block, turned and there, right in front of us…

Was an entire street full of white vans from the film company.

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they ripped my eyes out

Posted on November 21, 2006. Filed under: Dreams, randomness |

I had a dream last night that I finally went and had the ocular implant surgery done and, instead of inserting a lense, they replaced my eyeballs. Even though I could finally see perfectly, I was so upset because I have always loved the colour of my eyes and my nice hazel blue eyes with the gold circle around the pupil had been replaced with purplish-blackish eyes. Is this an indicator that I shouldn’t get the surgery?

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Posted on November 19, 2006. Filed under: Books |

Have any of you bookish type people out there signed up for this new yet?

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smart women

Posted on November 19, 2006. Filed under: Friends, randomness |

I forgot to mention that last night at the dinner I ran into a friend from Queen’s and found out that he’s working on The Smart Woman Survial Guide, which I coincidentally watched for the first time yesterday morning and loved! Now, I’m not sure what it is exactly that he’s doing on the show, but if you know Sean and you watch this show, it just makes sense that this is what he’s doing right now. I loved the show — very witty, funny and a bit random. A perfect combination. Have  you already seen an episode? Do you like it? Check it out and come back to say what you think about it.

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my feet hurt

Posted on November 19, 2006. Filed under: Drinking, Friends, randomness, School, The boy(s), Theatre |

I just got home from volunteering at the John Orr Dinner, a Queen’s Alumni event. I volunteered last year too and my favourite part both times was seeing the Queen’s Bands again. I don’t know, there’s just something about those bands that remind me of the community I had at Queen’s and then, when I look around the room, I know that everyone in there has had such a similar and positive experience from that University and I love it. I know, I know, I’m a Queen’s snob through and through and you know what? I love it!

The event went well, though I only knew about 20 people, it was nice to catch up with them. I couldn’t handle the young ones and their drunkenness — I suppose I’m old now (though they actually are getting younger!). The class of ’10 was present (scary!).

The weekend also kicked off with Brian and I standing in line for a lottery to see Wicked.  A cool idea, though if you don’t get tickets it’s just a waste of an evening. It was cool to be a part of it, even though we didn’t win. We then had a mediocre to poor dinner at Lone Star.

After a weekend of standing, tonight in heels, my feel are killing me as is my head so I’m going to put the deliriousness that is me to bed. Good night!

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From Fromans

Posted on November 17, 2006. Filed under: randomness |

I love this! Thanks Fromans for The Winner of the 2006 Not My Job Award. So funny!

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