Archive for July, 2006
a life-changing day a year ago today
Brian and I first started dating at Queen’s at the beginning of third year until the beginning of fourth year. We then broke up — well, he broke up with me and we didn’t talk much for months and then started to hook up before both leaving for our post-university lives. We stayed in touch through other relationships, living in different places, and I happened to be there coincidentally (back from Vancouver for Christmas I think) when he broke up with his recent girlfriend. Then he stood me up one day, huge — as in left and went to another city and didn’t mention to let me know. And so I thought about it and sent him a one line email to the affect of:
Please do not contact me ever again.
Done.
A year passed and he slowly started to email me and I ignored the first few — they were around my birthday when I was working for the evil company and couldn’t believe that he had the odacity to email and to preach the fact that I should be more forgiving (or at least that’s how it came across). I continued to ignore the emails for months and then, upon breaking up with Aron I decided that Brian really was there for me a lot and that we did enjoy each other’s company and so I emailed him back and told him we could email, but not talk on the phone.
Eventually, last summer, a few months after emailing, he was in Toronto and we met up. And all I wanted, more than anything was for him to kiss me. I could feel some sort of electricty as I walked beside him and as we sat in the movie theatre.
He left for Europe, and came back to hang out a few more times and then left for Arizona again.
Then, a year ago today, on his way back he wrote me a beautiful email (though at the time I didn’t believe it) about how he was driving in the wrong direction and loved me.
I, of course, didn’t believe him for months, but really wanted to. And now, it all seems quite romantic. This lead to my first trip to Arizona, our beautiful Christmas together and, eventually to our relationship together.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 3 so far )the myth of you and me
I’ve had an affinity for the main character of The Myth of You and Me because we seem so similar in so many ways. Then I heard this quote and it described me to a tee:
“You’re not a realist. You are a dreamer who doesn’t believe in the dream.”
—The Myth of You and Me by Leah Stewart
yay!
Brian’s coming home for a couple of days for a job interview! Yay! At first I was sad because I didn’t think I’d be able to see him, but now I might take another day off (I ahve Monday off because we were supposed to move THIS weekend, not LAST) and this will be good too for the state of my mental and physical health at the moment!
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )the good life?
I finished listening to The Good Life by Jay McInerney last week. It took me a while to get into it because I really didn’t care about the characters living the rich life in NYCat first. I then realized that you aren’t supposed to because, not too far into the story the World Trade Centre comes down and you are instantly bonded to the characters in an almost haunting fashion. The author, having lived so close to the site had watched the people jump from the building and details it so vividly in the book. Every detail sticks with you.
There was one beautiful excerpt from the book, which I wish I had the printed copy of so I could give a direct quote, but two of the characters who are having an affair are talking about the house they are getting away to and he is describing it as a constant — one that will always be there and they will haunt it as memories or as ghosts. As lovers. Forever. It was such a shockingly vivid image, and with moving into my grandparents’ house this week, I was instantly in tears thinking of the two of them and their life together. Then I was thinking of my life together with Brian and how my grandmother always asked me about any fellows I was interested in. I was thinking about if I do have a wedding (which I’m actualy liking the idea of now) and how I would go and tell her all about it at the cemetary. And tears were now flowing as I drove down the highway all because of that image.
The Good Life is a story of quashed hope throughout. Any faint glimmer of perceived reality and hope and desire become mere memories.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 4 so far )we’re in
We’re in the new house — kind of. All of our stuff is there, but our lives aren’t quite there yet.
I woke up this morning after a restless night of trying to sleep while my mind was spinning with all of the things I have to do. To unpack. To find. For example, yesterday I packed my alarm clock and cell phone somewhere I’m sure was quite logical at the time and then promptly forgot.
I couldn’t find them for the rest of the day and was worried about the clock because I had to wake up at 6:24 this morning to get to work.
I finally found them — both in the same box and then called Brian to update him. While doing so, I proceeded to pour a pot of scalding hot water onto my hand (trying to make rice pasta for dinner at 10:30 at night). I shouldn’t have been allowed to be standing, let alone talking or cooking — definitely not trying to do them all at once.
Needless to say, I’m completely out of it today and my eyes, though open, are actually asleep.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )bored
I’m bored of moving already and we’re nowhere near done.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )« Previous Entries
Friends Keep Saying I Should Blog... 