the dyingness in summary
How, after 2 1/2 years can they STILL not know what is wrong with me? What I refer to as “the dyingness”: I have now seen a family doctor, a GI, a tongue idiot (see post on “the tongue idiot”), and a naturopath. They are also now referring me to an OBGYN and an osteopath! I mean, come on. So at first I was feeling really tired and out of it and just not well and the family doctor check blood levels, stds, etc. Everything came back negatively, which I guess was a good thing, but my b12 was low (like nearly 800 points too low) but the doctor said it wasn’t low enough to get a shot. Freakin hell, it was only 20 points above survival level!
So the dyingness continued.
Then it got worse: chronic, sharp pain in the lower abdomin. So, after asking me 8000000 times if I were pregnant (and the fact that they disregarded the continuous “no’s” they sent me to get an ultrasound upon which the technician was concerned and told me to come back to the ER if it got worse.
It did. It got a lot worse.
So after returning to the ER and waiting for 3 hours and convincing more people that “no, I’m not pregnant” they say go home and take an asprin.
GO HOME AND TAKE AN ASPRIN! Are you fucking kidding me?
I go back to see the GI and he claims that I might have Crones, so he sends me off for a barium swallow. Which, for the record, takes at least 3 hours as you swallow chalk and they take a few xrays of you as you wriggle around on a cold steel table.
They now ask me if I’m crazy.
Yes, the pain that woke me up a few days ago is fictional. I am making the whole thing up.
Onto the GI who immediately does a gastroscopy and a colonoscopy.
He actually said to me in the post-op room “I’m very surprised to tell you that we found nothing”.
Now onto the catscan of the abdomin. For this I get to drink more radioactive stuff and sit while I learn that the machine has broken down and they are behind. Wow, are they every behind. After they do the ER patients and the in-patients, they start with me for the out-patients (2 hours late).
In steps the naturopath who seems very concerned and focuses on the very high ESR level (58) which indicates inflammation in the body, but no one can find out why.
So I start on a diet of no wheat, sugar or dairy. Not as hard to do as I thought it would be…
But then things start to hurt again: food sensitivity testing comes in now.
I AM SENSITIVE TO EVERYTHING!
And so I start treatment through diet for Candida. And again, it’s not that hard, you just can’t eat many things. So that feels under control for a few months and then the pain returns.
And it’s back and the tongue is gross and I can’t hold vitamins in my body, and the doctor’s say “you’re fine it’s all in your head”.
All in my head. I’m telling you if my mind is that powerful I should be feared.