can you always tell when you snap out of a phase?

Posted on February 9, 2007. Filed under: The boy(s) |

For the past few months I’ve been somewhat complaining about how infrequently Brian and I get to see one another. I mean, we usually see each other for about an hour one night a week and then for a day on the weekend, so technically it could be worse. But it just wasn’t feeling like much for a while there — not like we were a “real” couple doing real couply things together.

I then, finally, reasoned last week that if I couldn’t see him often now, I’d hopefully be able to see him a lot more one undetermined day in the future and then that would make right now better.

So we talked about it (again) the other night, and I suddenly realized something at his prompting — he argued that if we aren’t happy now and if we don’t fix this time thing now in some way then there may not be a later. I realized that I had assumed we couldn’t fix right now and so at least, if there was a change at some point then it would be okay. I realized that this was ridiculous and of course he was right AND that I had created some huge situation in my head for absolutely no reason.

Damn. And I had always said I would never be this girfriendy.

It feels as though something has completely disappeared and that I can return, for now at least, to my former normal independent self of getting together whenever and not into a girlfriendy freak!


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