bored of organizing
I’m bored of organizing my life already. It didn’t take long. Now I’m bored. And I miss being with Brian. At least when we’re both in the same place we can be bored together, or find something to do, or the fact that one of us isn’t bored is enough to make the other person not be either. I never ever thought that I, me, miss “I’m independent” would be saying this. I then contemplated making a gluten, sugar, dairy free chocolate cake. I got out the recipe and realized that you need a mixer — and, well, that was just too much effort to put together — in my bordem, I also get slightly depressed and tired. It always happens — I think that’s why I always try to pack so much into my life. To feel a sense of importance, accomplishment, that I’m DOING something. When I have down time I go crazy — too much down time makes me not want to do anything at all, hence the spiral into depression. This was particularly true when I lived in Vancouver — only it was then met with the solution of alcoholism, and binge drinking and picking up people at the bar. Those days are happily long gone, and have now been replaced with getting up enough energy to make a cake. Ha. Exciting, I know. I could be filling the time with a lot of different things — reading, writing, sleeping, cooking, baking, crocheting, studying…but seem to only want to procrastinate. Which I guess is okay for a day. I mean, it’s only a day. 3 more to go for my long weekend as we get Tuesday off as well. I’ll resume the organization tomorrow.